We have all heard the same lines about alcohol; it’s bad for cognitive development, it means you are not facing your problems, there’s a reason the alcohol age limit is that high and everything of the sort. Yet we all turn to this mind-numbing avoidance coping mechanism which we’re only exposed to after one too many ‘no’s at a high school party drowning in peer pressure. Why? Here’s a raw one-on-one experience with alcoholism all for your viewing pleasure. Before I begin, every person’s journey is different and every relationship with alcohol has its tweaks, my story will almost certainly be different to yours and that does not make mine invalid and it will certainly not make yours or the next person’s invalid in any way.
The Australian Institute of Health and Warfare, have fortunately reported that in recent decades, over-consumption of alcohol has decreased. However, there has been an increase in the number of teenagers over-consuming alcohol. There are dangers about approaching alcohol as a teenager that has been drilled in us by condescending health teachers. Dangers that we nonetheless ignore at house parties and kickbacks.
I have grown up in what could be considered a conservative or traditional home. Alcohol and drugs had always been frowned upon and even the mere idea of having relationships was synonymous with hellfire. Not only had I been spoon-fed with the practical, scientific dangers of alcohol, I had also been brainwashed with all the religious perils that come along with substances and for as long as I could remember, I respected those rules with no argument. I understood that alcohol can take you out of the driver’s seat of your mind and can have you waking up not remembering hours of what happened the previous night, but ironically these characteristics are exactly what appealed me to my first drink.
It is a story that we have all heard before, a cliche one might describe it as. Girl meets boy. Boy becomes a bad influence. Girl experiences out of character events. It was only going to be one sip. It was only one party. I never intended for an innocent Friday night outing to become an initiation into the world of edible addictions and binge drinking adventures. It was okay the second and third time too, I was 15 and like any other teenager, I should be allowed to treasure my youth. Friday night parties with close friends quickly became 5AM on Tuesday morning home sneak ins. Youthful sleepovers became a reason for me not to talk to those who had previously kept me grounded and on the path to a bountiful education. However, what I never became aware of and what all the people I pushed away would have reminded me of, is that my nightly adventures were never a journey of treasuring my youth but rather a long winding path of destroying my future.
I continued down this path for what became a long nine months, reaping the most unfortunate consequences. I smeared my relationship with my family, pushed away my closest friends and found my mental health at a tipping point. Within months, I had changed what once was a happy life into a massive highway incident - the kind that blocks all roads forward and creates massive hindrances on the innocent. Granted, I believed that I was entitled to this kind of life-destroying. I had gone through massive, irreversible life changes. I lost someone who had kept me grounded in an already unstable life and when he left, I began looking for some form of closure. My habits had completely turned around and for a long time, I lost a lot of myself. I threw myself into my training and worked harder than I ever had before, I went out more so that I would not have to talk to the people who really knew me at home. I avoided people who tended to notice things that were different with me and suddenly my snap score tripled, the number of contacts in my phonebook multiplied and I found myself in a position where I no longer talked to the people who really knew me. Following months of avoidance, I lunged into binge drinking night after night and starting the day off with a breakfast of addiction.
This story may seem like it has no happy ending and to be as transparent as possible, no break-up with alcohol has ever been happy. I went on destroying a promising future and eventually the people around me had had enough with the constant miserable state of my affairs. I will be eternally grateful to the people in my life who cared enough to notice and help. My friend had not dared to fight me on my coping mechanisms knowing full well it would only have pushed me further away, instead he stayed around at late night parties, escorting me home and from the beds of strangers. It took months of this for me to realise that my choices did not only affect my life but the lives of everyone around me. A constant thought that came through at this point in time was; ‘How dare they interfere with my choices? This is my life and I will choose to destroy it if I want to.’
It took me a long time to understand that this mindset was all kinds of wrong. I only now see the selfishness of my actions and wish that I was able to see the way that alcohol clouded my judgement. Now, this story is not some propaganda to stop you from enjoying your youth and in any way consume alcohol in moderation, however, it is a message to be aware of the dangers of alcohol in large amounts. Be aware of not only the effect it will have on you but the people around you, understand the long lasting effects of the developed culture of underage drinking in Australia.
After being fortunate enough to realise the destruction that I had created, I began healing. I started to write lists, reflecting on every aspect of my life which had changed since I started using alcohol as my personal crashmat. I started attempts to heal my personal relationships with close friends and family, I was careful with taking care of my body and began to find my own spiritual happiness and after some time I was able to heal the relationship with myself. Over this time of healing, I was most certainly not sober, I had my moments but what changed was my self-awareness.
For all of you who may have a friend who is going through a similar journey, the best thing you can do is not interfere with this relationship but to be there for them, to ask them what they need from you. No one will ever have the right to tell someone going through a rocky part of their life how they should deal with a journey that only they understand.
We have all heard the same lines about alcohol - the cognitive development effects, the dangers of avoidance coping mechanisms and all these similar cliches. Now, I’ll tell you that the only real solution is to step back and take a real look at your own relationship with alcohol.